Embracing God’s Grace and Letting Go of Perfection

My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.
- 2 Corinthians 12:9 (NIV)

Have you ever felt worn down by the grind of trying to be perfect or avoid making mistakes? When it comes to our faith and our walk with God, He doesn’t ask us to be perfect. He just asks us to be present. And He tells us that His grace is more than enough, that His power is perfected in our weakness.

God’s grace is like an antidote to the poisonous pursuit of perfection that sets us up for failure. This doesn’t mean we accept lower standards or give up on trying to do better, but rather it means we recognize that it’s Christ who works in us to will and to act (and to be worthy of His gift freely given) because of who we are in Christ. This allows us to pursue our goals and projects without the debilitating fear of failure.

Consider your own life. How often do you strive to be perfect? Perhaps you are working long hours to ensure one project is right. Or maybe you have chastised yourself because you had to miss your child’s soccer game for work. You might be trying to keep up with online classes while doubt seeps in about not meeting your impossible standards.

But the truth is, this pursuit of perfection is exhausting. We will never be perfect on this side of heaven, no matter how many times we try. But perhaps that’s the point: God isn’t asking us to achieve perfection. He knows that we have limitations, are weak and fallible, and struggle, and He loves us anyway.

Recognizing the Signs

To start practicing grace, we can observe when the pursuit of perfection is getting in our way and note the following signs:

• Procrastination: You put off starting something because you fear not doing it well enough. This could be putting off that big project at work until the last minute or not signing up for that class you’ve been wanting to take because you don’t want to be the worst in the class.
• All-or-nothing thinking: You see things in black-and-white categories. You don’t see shades of gray. If, for instance, you can’t commit to exercising for an hour every day, you might decide against exercising at all. Or if you can’t earn your degree this year, then you won’t pursue it at all.
• Obsessing over your mistakes: You ruminate more about your shortcomings than your successes. Even when you accomplish something meaningful, you’re quick to underplay it, or shift your attention to something that you could have done differently.
• Delegating made difficult: You can’t trust others to do things the way you would. At work, you might be taking on too many tasks or refusing help at home because it all has to be done your way.
• Burnout: You exhaust yourself trying to live up to unrealistic expectations. You might constantly feel tired, irritable or as if you’re never doing enough.

If you see these patterns in yourself, take heart. Awareness is the first step, and the Holy Spirit is standing by, waiting to help you break free from these chains.

Reframing Your Perspective

Once you’ve identified perfectionist tendencies, it’s time to change your perspective. Here’s how:

• Allow ‘good enough’: Accept that all work does not need to be perfect. Sometimes ‘done’ really is better than ‘perfect.’ Give yourself a time limit on tasks. When the time is up, accept what you have.
• Celebrate where you are: Every day is new and full of new freedoms. Take time to appreciate how much you have improved or new opportunities you may have. Keep a success journal — listing the victories, the small improvements, the little changes — and read it regularly.
• Forgive yourself: Mistakes are for learning from and forgiving, not for beating up on yourself. Rather than saying, “This didn’t turn out the way I planned.” Tell yourself, “What can I take away from this to make me more effective next time?”
• Cultivate self-compassion: Treat yourself like you would treat your friend. When you notice yourself being harsh, pause and say: “What would I say to a friend in this situation?”
• Ask God what he thinks: Stop and remind yourself how God sees you – His precious child – after each self-critical thought. Spend time in prayer and read Scripture where God shares His love and acceptance of you.

Remember, God’s grace that covers our sins is also the grace that frees us to live out all that it means to be fully human and fully alive. As your frame of mind changes, you’ll be more likely to enjoy your journey and the resulting destination.

Embrace Grace

With all this abstract talk about the mindset of grace, what concrete moves might you make to infuse grace into your day-to-day life? Here are a few quick steps to take:

• Start your day by giving thanks to God for His love and grace toward you; that’s a great way to start off on the right foot.
• Be realistic about what you can get done when planning your morning, day, or week. Decide on what you can truly get done. Include space for mistakes and distractions.
• Practice the ‘pause’ when you’re overwhelmed or tempted to pursue perfection, pause again, and take a deep breath. Lean into that grace. Ask for God’s guidance. This simple step can recalibrate your response.
• Celebrate small wins at the end of each day and take a moment to reflect on what you could do, no matter how small. Thank the Lord for his faithfulness in getting you through the day. This is a good practice for those who always feel there is so much more they should have done.
• Cheer for others that you care about. Celebrate your trusted friends and family as they strive to reach their goals. You’ll be pleasantly surprised to find out what it feels like to lift others up.

In following these practices, you’re not primarily dealing with time management but rather bringing your own heart into the orbit of God’s grace. It’s not that you’re doing more by doing less, but rather that you’re responding to grace with joy and peace.

Grace enables, not hinders, striving for excellence and personal development. It invites us to do these things out of a sense of gratitude rather than out of a needy desire for worth or a fear of being less than others. When we are secure in God’s love, we can risk, fail and succeed without the nagging sense that we’ve blown it; we can celebrate success without a crippling fear of the fall.

As you struggle with the complexities of balancing your professional aspirations, family commitments, and personal challenges, remember that His grace is more than sufficient for you – even though you’re not a perfect person, parent, spouse, or Christian.

Every day, identify one area where you’ve been working hard at doing things well. This could be a work project, a parenting objective, or a personal dream. Surrender it to God, and ask Him to open your eyes to it through the lens of grace. Then, take a small step toward it, knowing that His power is perfected in weakness.

Let's Pray

Heavenly Father, we pray that your grace might cover all our sins. Guide us in letting go of the illusion of perfection and, with it, the burden of trying to make it so. Grant us the courage to be vulnerable, the humility to have manageable expectations, and the faith to trust your strength when we are at our weakest.

Let us embrace the journey of each day, being lived in the light of Your grace and as an expression of who we are through You. May we live in balance with our many responsibilities, always remembering that we are accepted and valued as Your beloved in Christ, not by what we accomplish, but because of who you are. In Jesus’ name we pray, Amen.